Hello Divine Sparks,

Here I am back again, for the third week consecutive. But first I would like to apologize. I usually post on the weekend, however, due to an issue with the bandwidth exceeding its limits, the whole site was inaccessible over the weekend.

So let’s start. This week I’m here to talk to you about a very delicate subject and share a little of my experience. There are several internal, external, physical, and emotional causes that lead one to the experience of the “dark night of the soul” – that is how I often refer to what we call “Depression.”

The psychologists say that, there are ten main symptoms of depression:

1. Constant sadness;
2. Pessimism, hopelessness:
3. Guilt and low self-esteem;
4. Disinterest and apathy;
5. Lack of energy, tiredness;
6. Sleep disorders;
7. Anxiety and Irritation.
8. Isolation;
9. Negligence with appearance and personal hygiene;
10. Chronic Symptoms – That is, most of the above-mentioned nine symptoms that occurs for a period of three weeks or more, is a sign that you are suffering from Depression.

They are the symptoms, but not the actual factors that lead to depression. Each case with its own causes, today I will speak of mine, in the hope of shedding some light.

Before that, I have to warn, depression does not always manifest itself in the form of these symptoms. There are people who so strongly suppress their sadness that they mask it so well, and with a smile.

Those who read my book can identify patterns of behaviors and events that have in fact influenced my path one way or another. On closer analysis, I believe that our emotional immaturity, the poorly resolved emotional problems since childhood, are great factors in all delusions, which makes an individual lose faith in himself and in life.

I placed high expectations not only on myself, but on how the events of my life should be. All based on a naive point of view, full of hidden pains, where I built my strong and fearless character. However, all structures that are not made on solid terrain, which are built with seemingly strong mud bricks, give a false sense of confidence and security, but one day they give in.

So when all four main pillars for a balanced life collapsed at the same time on me: 1. Health, 2. Relationships, 3. Finance, and with 4. my Spirituality shaken; The true self has been revealed, the one I have tried to hide since the tragic event I witnessed in my childhood. There she was, that frail child, who unconsciously sabotaged all my ideals.

Then days became nights, where I could see myself slowly deepening into the darkest night of my soul. Admitting this was even more difficult than facing all my losses.  I got into deep depression for almost one year. Over time, my excuses created an armor, a shield of protection. Until total seclusion was acceptable, normal, and comfortable. In this mental labyrinth, life loses its meaning. In solitude lies an afflicted and needy heart, which, though accustomed to its melancholy, cries out intimately for help and for love.

How did I overcome my Depression? I do not want to be a spoiler, you should read my book to know completely, otherwise this post would look longer than it already is. But I can say that there was always an inner faith that never let me entirely give up on myself, and surprisingly it was guided Meditation, Positive Affirmations and my Writings that were also the lamps to illuminate the dark room of my mental home. That’s how my book came to life – Initially as self-therapy. As I mentioned in the previous publication, I felt that going through my timeline was helping me to expel the emotional blocks that led me to depression.

Dear ones, if you are suffering from Depression, know that it is a curable mental and affective disorder. Do not try to hide behind an unreal cape of force, nor allow dark and depressing thoughts strengthen itself, for life must continue, in spite of all the pain. So fight the pessimistic patterns of thoughts and replace them immediately with a positive one. Be aware, with what you are feeding your mind.

Believe me, there is light in the end of this tunnel, and the light is just waiting for your first steps. Please, seek help now!

Have a blessed week ahead.  Peace & love for all.

Jacqueline Sewell

Photo by Wil Stewart